Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
