I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
