By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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