i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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