Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
