Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
