There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
