i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
