One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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