babies were throwing up all over the place
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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