so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
