Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
