would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
