I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Randomize
