oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
