Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
