fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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