Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
high people should be assigned attendants
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
