i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
