omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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