well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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