So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
