I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
