her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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