He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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