the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
