Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
