So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
