I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Randomize
