my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
