I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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