Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
