Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
