is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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