It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
