I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i believe in u and ur pee
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
