We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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