Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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