Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
