that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
