Screwed.edu
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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