Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize