you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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