There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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