i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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