My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
