Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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