at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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