Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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