I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
