your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
